Five Key Points for Improving Your Connection in Relationships
Many people believe that if they simply communicate better in a relationship, then the relationship will automatically improve as well. However, this is not entirely true.
Others say that you need specific communication skills for a healthy relationship.
This problem with communication is not an acquisition issue, rather, it is an access issue. In other words, developing communication skills isn’t what is needed in the situation. One must simply use the ability to communicate effectively, which is already owned.
But when you are in a fight or disagreement with your partner, you likely are not in your prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for more complex actions (like planning and forethought).
Instead, you are in your amygdala, which triggers a fight, flight, or freeze reaction. This triggers a more emotional reaction, instead of thinking through the issue and addressing it directly.
And this here is the problem. How can you use communication skills, which are stored in your prefrontal cortex, when it is turned off because you are in fight, flight or freeze?
Positive Impacts of Relationship Connection
People who are securely connected tent to have a more positive, articulated, and stronger sense of self. In addition, when you have a healthy relationship with an important someone, your confidence tends to improve and you feel better about yourself.
In many cases, the better the connection in the relationship, the healthier relationships both parties have with themselves. When one knows that they have healthy relationships with other people, they tend to think more highly of themselves for having relationships with the people that they want in their lives.
Another aspect of this is the fact that how you engage on an attachment and emotional level shapes how you engage your own sexuality and how you engage sexual partners.
On the flip side, if you detach yourself in relationships and remove yourself from people in your life, it is possible to have the same type of destructive relationship with yourself.
But if you put active effort into connecting with partners and others in your life, you are likely to put active effort into yourself as well.
Solutions to Limited Relationship Connection
Share the Vulnerability, If You Feel You Can:
When you are feeling vulnerable, share that vulnerability with those you trust to improve relationship connection. Sharing vulnerability tends to build bonds and strengthen relationships. It also helps you stay open with your friend or partner.
Get Closer to each other:
Proximity to an attachment figure tranquilizes the nervous system. This means that being close with someone that you have a good relationship with is the basic way of calming down and achieving emotional balance. This can reduce stress and improve health in the long run.
Be Predictable:
If you show people that you can promise to meet the longing of wanting a healthy and safe relationship, you have tapped into the powerful unconditioned motivator in human beings. When people see that you can meet their needs, they automatically gravitate towards you and want to strengthen the connection that they have with you. This connection strengthens the relationship as well.
Be responsive:
In a relationship, you need a supportive other that you can turn to in times of stress, or any other rough patch in your life. You should be there for each other and show that you support each other throughout the good times and the difficult ones. This will make your bond even stronger because you will have been with each other through it all.
In the words of Robert Karen in Becoming Attached, “In love you don’t have to be perfect, you just need to be there.” This means that you should always be there for your partner, even if you don’t always know what to say. Have unconditional support for each other, and the connection will continue to develop and become stronger and stronger.
Assume the best in each other:
Always see and assume the best in other people. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt whenever possible, and trust in them as they should trust in you.
Impact of Improving Your Connection
The strongest human beings are the ones who can connect with loved ones and use that relationship as a source of resilience in life. Those who have the strongest bonds have the best tools to go through life with.
If you have good, healthy relationships with the ones that you truly want to venture through life alongside, you have the setup for success.
You should be able to come to a partner with anything that you need help with or need to talk about, and they should be there to listen. You should always be the same for them, and be sure that they know that you are always going to be there for them.
Learn More About Healthy Relationship Connections With Counseling in Leavenworth, KS and Overland Park, KS
Our therapists specialize in couples therapy. We can work with you to strengthen your connection with your partner. Our caring therapists are ready to work with you! To start counseling at JS Therapy Group located in Overland Park, KS, and Leavenworth, KS, follow these simple steps:
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Other Counseling Services at JS Therapy Group
Couples and Marriage Counseling are not the only services we offer in our Leavenworth, KS, and Overland Park, KS counseling centers. Other mental health services JS Therapy Group provides include therapy for children and plays therapy, trauma, and PTSD treatment, premarital counseling, family therapy, depression treatment, affordable and reduced therapy, anxiety treatment, and trauma therapy for children. We also offer professional consultations and supervision opportunities. If you can’t make it to see one of our therapists for in-person counseling, consider online therapy in Kansas to meet your mental health needs. Contact us to get started or click on one of the links to learn more. Contact JS Therapy Group.