Recent Blog Posts
Let's talk a little bit about relationships. Have you ever gotten into an argument with your partner or even your teen and then afterward thought to yourself, "that escalated so fast"? Or maybe you and your partner or you and your teen get caught up in the cycle of yelling and pulling away from each other. That would be the work of your working models and your attachment behavioral system.
Have you ever had this happen? You and a friend are talking about something you both saw on TV. Let's say it was one of the Shondra shows....who doesn't love those?!?! You and you friend are talking about how you can't believe the girl said the thing and the look on his face afterward. You are like, yes, yes, yes, I can't believe that either. Then your friend says something that you don't agree with...maybe it was the snippy tone the girl used to say the thing. Your friend thinks the girl meant to use her words to cut like a knife and you think the girl used the words to show the amount of pain she was feeling at that moment. Who got it right?
Many people believe anxiety and depression, to name just a couple of struggles, are best treated in individual therapy. These types of struggles many consider to be "individual problems". Well, sorry to be the one to tell you but research is showing that including family members in the treatment of these "individual problems" can actually increase success rates!
Children who receive negative messages may begin to plummet to that level instead of excelling to their actual potential.
I was sitting on my couch working my way through the DVD when it hit me over and over: this theory was going to change the way I work with couples.
A common complaint I hear in my office is the fear of what others think. It comes out in many ways. Children who come in and report wanting to be liked by friends or wanting to get good grades so that others will think they are smart. Adults also come in reporting fears of not being liked by coworkers, friends or neighbors or feeling like they will look stupid because of something they said.