This One Thing Could Stop An Argument!

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Have you ever had this happen?  You and a friend are talking about something you both saw on TV.  Let's say it was one of the Shondra shows....who doesn't love those?!?!  You and you friend are talking about how you can't believe the girl said the thing and the look on his face afterward.  You are like, yes, yes, yes, I can't believe that either.  Then your friend says something that you don't agree with...maybe it was the snippy tone the girl used to say the thing.  Your friend thinks the girl meant to use her words to cut like a knife and you think the girl used the words to show the amount of pain she was feeling at that moment.  Who got it right?  

Well, maybe both of you got it right.  You see, there is this thing call perspective.  Basically, perspective is point of view.  Now transition this idea over to an argument you had with your partner.  Sometimes partners get caught up in the words of who said what.  Perhaps you argued about how something happened.  You both could be right!  Both of you have two different perspectives, or points of view.  When it comes down to it, remember this...there are three truths.  There is your truth.  There is my truth.  And then there is THE truth.  When you find yourself arguing about who said what, pause yourself.  Remember the three truths.  Then be curious about your partner's truth.  You could learn a lot that could help you both in future argument!  

Jessica Schroeder is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Registered Play Therapist in private practice in historic downtown Leavenworth, Kansas. Jessica specializes in Couples Therapy and Trauma with adults and children.

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