Here's a Quick Way to Improve Every One of Your Relationships!
I wanted to take a few minutes this week to share one very important strategy for happy relationships that I talk about in couples counseling and individual relationship therapy, and that I use in every...single...relationship!
Dr. John Gottman conducted years of research to determine what makes marriages work. He gained a ton of information!
This one-piece I'm going to share today is super easy! At least I think it is.
It is the idea of having at least five positive interactions to every one negative interaction. Dr. Gottman calls this the Magic Relationship Ratio. Let me break this down for you. Whether you are thinking of an intimate or working relationship, having more positive interactions increases emotional safety and security in a relationship.
Think about it. How do you feel when negatively interacting with a lover or a friend? I bet it takes a lot of energy out of you, right?
Think of it this way. Imagine you have a jar of 20 pennies. Whenever you have a negative interaction with someone you care about, you lose 10 pennies. That sounds like quite an expensive interaction!
When you have a positive interaction, it will take more to get back to the status quo.
Basically, when you have a positive interaction, you get only two pennies back! And this is only if things are going well. Imagine you had several negative interactions and very few positive interactions. You are going to be in the red! You are in debt to your penny jar! It will take many, many, many, many positive interactions to replenish your jar. Probably more than five positive interactions to every one negative interaction.
Who Can I Use This Relationship Counseling Technique With?
I use this strategy with my clients, with my family, with my supervisees, and with everyone! So what about you? Which relationships do you have more positive interactions than negative interactions? Which relationships do you have more negative interactions than positive interactions? Make this your focus for this week. I think it will help!!!!
Begin Individual Relationship Therapy in Kansas for Support!
You don’t have to live with negativity and arguments in your relationships. Online couples therapy and relationship counseling in Kansas can help you feel like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Our Leavenworth and Overland Park locations have caring couples therapists specializing in couples and marriage Counseling. To begin counseling in Overland Park, KS and Leavenworth, follow these steps:
Meet with one of our caring marriage therapists
Start combatting the negatives with 5 more positives!
Other Counseling Services at JS Therapy Group
Couple and Marriage Counseling is not the only service we offer in our Leavenworth and Overland Park counseling clinics. Other mental health services JS Therapy Group provides include addiction counseling, play therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment for children, family therapy, trauma and PTSD treatment, depression treatment, teen therapy, affordable counseling, summer counseling program, premarital counseling, and anxiety treatment. We also offer professional consultations and supervision opportunities. If you can’t make it to see one of our therapists for in-person counseling, consider online therapy in Kansas to meet your mental health needs. Contact us to get started or click on one of the links to learn more.
About The Author
Jessica Schroeder is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor in private practice in historic downtown Leavenworth, Kansas. Jessica specializes in Couples Therapy and Trauma with adults and children.
www.jessicaschroedertherapy.com
